Only Measure Meal by Meal | Shrink Yourself

Only Measure Meal by Meal

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 25, 2010 | POSTED BY MICHELLE

Are you always judging, critiquing or evaluating yourself? Do you feel like you can never measure up? Do you believe, especially when it comes to food (not to mention other things), you can never get it quite right? If so, you’re not alone.

We are in report card season right now. My son brought home his mid-year report card last week. Maybe your kids did, too. There were pages and pages of information about how he’s doing in math and reading. Average here, advanced there. Notes about how he’s not always prepared with a pencil at chorus practice. Check minuses to indicate that he doesn’t always want to run the mile at Phys. Ed (who ever did?). And a letter from his teacher about how despite his ability to engage in mature conversations with adults, he sometimes “turns off” his peers. I had to then explain to my son what it means to “turn off” your peers. Not a well-received conversation as you might imagine.

Look, we live in a society where we’re being measured and weighed constantly from the minute we’re born. The first thing that people want to know after a baby is born is how much did he/she weigh. Then, the pediatrician tells us how we’re growing in comparison to other children. Our parents appoint one sibling the smart one, the other the pretty one. And after awhile we get so accustomed to being the subject of evaluation that we inevitably do this to ourselves all day long. “I did a great job on that phone call” or “I just blew it.” We pick up where our parents and teachers left off, measuring ourselves all day long. Liking ourselves when we meet the mark and disliking ourselves when we fall short.

Addictions like alcohol, nicotine or drugs are more black and white. You’re either on them or off them. Our black and white minds like this. It’s easy to measure if we’re doing a good job. Programs to break addictions recommend taking things one day at a time. But with food, it can be so much harder. Even one day at a time can seem like an eternity when a day means three meals and two snacks that you’ve got to get right. It’s no wonder that so many of us throw in the towel after eating something we wish we hadn’t. It’s because it’s just too hard. We’ve set the bar too high. We expect too much.

If you’re trying to overcome a pattern of overeating, you need to offer yourself more realistic expectations. The only way to measure how you’re doing is one meal at a time. Don’t try to beat yourself into submission. Don’t try to bully yourself into eating well for a whole day or a whole week. Simply tell yourself, in the most loving and gentle way, that you only need to make good choices for this meal that’s ahead of you. That makes things manageable. That gives you the chance to succeed. Accept that you’re not going to get it right. There is no perfect report card. And perfection is pretty boring. When you give yourself the chance to be perfectly imperfect, you don’t have to be measured, you just have to try your best for this meal that’s in front of you. And that is something that you CAN do.

4 Comments In the order they were posted.

Samalapoo said...

Thank you! If I look at a whole day, I do get overwhelmed and worry whether I can do it, but if you take it one meal at a time, it seems doable.

Monique Noble said...

This was a very inspirational article. It makes me see that it is possible to feel sucessful by dealing with one meal at a time.

Jennifer Mary Clare Cockcroft said...

But when does one meal end???? Mine go on for hours, regardless of schedule and work... its always food.... the moment the shoes are kicked off, the arrrraaaaagggggh fooooood, feeling, bliss until I feel wracked with guilt and my fridge and cupboards are empty and the scale flies up again.... what then?

Sue said...

I find this really inspiring too. Someone suggested managing the gaps between meals in this way. Just 3 hours of not eating then I can really enjoy a meal. It is easy sometimes and harder others but doing this has helped me not be afraid of having a rumbling tummy sometimes in fact I find my tummy rumbles quite empowering as I haven't heard them for many years!