Self-Acceptance Starts Now!
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2010 | POSTED BY MICHELLE
Do you keep telling yourself that when you lose weight you’ll finally love yourself? Do you think it’s completely acceptable to reject your body in its current state? If you are plagued with thoughts about wishing you looked different, read on.
A female journalist I know who has written beauty articles for Allure, Glamour and Cosmo said, “I always thought I was just one haircut away from being beautiful. If I could only find the “right” haircut, lipstick or mascara I’d be a different person.” We do the same thing with our weight. If I was just a size (fill in the blank), if I didn’t have cellulite, if I could only lose five, fifteen or fifty pounds I’d finally accept myself. But the goal becomes more and more elusive begging us to chase it to the point of exhaustion. And even if you do arrive, it often doesn’t give you the “good” feeling you were anticipating. That doesn’t mean that being fit and feeling pretty are not acceptable goals to have, it simply means that how you get there probably looks a lot different than you to believe.
I hate to be cynical but the beauty (and diet) industry thrives on you feeling badly about your body. When you’re at your most vulnerable, they’ve got you. You’ll buy anything they’re selling hoping that it’s going to make you feel better about yourself. It won’t. So, if all of that won’t help you feel better, what will? It starts with accepting yourself exactly as you are TODAY. Even if you have wrinkles and even if you have rolls.
It can be all too common to approach dieting and exercise from a place of self-hatred. It’s our negative feelings that propel us to “deprive” ourselves. It’s no wonder that we come to resent taking care of ourselves—we’ve made it into a form of punishment. However, when we accept ourselves, we’re more likely to have the energy required to take loving actions towards our bodies—actions like eating well and exercising. It may seem like semantics but the source of your approach matters.
If you’re wondering how this could be true, I’ll share a simple story with you about my son. We have a friend who always threw him on the bed. It was a big game and brought on fits of laughter. Another friend threw him on the bed once and he started wailing. He didn’t get hurt but he got scared. Instead of playful, this other person was aggressive (on the inside) which the friend later admitted. The action was the same, but not the intent, and that made all the difference.
This change of perspective can sound easier said than done but it is a necessary part of taking care of your body for the rest of your life. This is why dealing with your own self-doubts is a big part of both the Shrink Yourself book and the online program. Some simple ways that you can start accepting yourself now are:
1. Writing down three things you did well each night.
2. Asking your friends or family to share what they love about you.
3. Meditating on a quality that you possess that you love (joy, radiance, intelligence, fun, reliability) and letting that quality flow out of you more freely.
We have the false belief that if we can only change our thinking then we’ll finally be able to change our actions. But it happens in reverse. When we change our actions, our way of thinking inevitably changes. Take loving actions towards yourself and you’ll find yourself accepting yourself more and more. Anything from putting yourself to bed early, to drawing a bath for yourself, to setting a boundary with someone who always elicits bad feelings in you. You are not fifteen pounds from fabulous, you are already fabulous. Self-acceptance starts now!
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As a psychiatrist who has worked with thousands of overweight people over four decades, I can understand how much you suffer when you are overweight or think of yourself as fat. Not only do you suffer from the physical and medical consequences of extra weight, but I know that you also suffer from painful feelings, such as disappointment, hopelessness, and guilt.
This program will help you learn the mental skills you need to stop overeating. Because, most of the time, you are really not hungry for food but for something else.
As you uncover and demystify your hidden triggers to eat, you will diminish their power over you, until one day you wake and the cravings will be gone! The new thinner, healthier, happier YOU will emerge.
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